13: Walking

Greetings. 

I'm back, which means either 1. something has annoyed me, or 2. the fact that I'm announcing a return is bad for my attempt at weekly blogs. 

Obviously I've failed my readers... 

Not one. 

Lately I've noticed that not only are people getting gradually lazier with their grammar and speaking abilities, but they're also getting lazier with their daily habits. In this case, I mean: people slide across floors instead of walking and it pisses me off.

Honestly- can you pick up your feet? Your parents didn't teach you to walk as a child for no reason. They put all their time and effort making it so they didn't have to pick your bitch ass up off the floor for you to regress in your walking abilities? 

If I wanted to see people gliding across floors I'd go to to an ice skating rink... Or better yet, Dracula's castle so he can kill me and just get it over with. I swear, it's like you WANT to make a trench in the floor. 

It's like a trend is starting: you grab your Ugg boots, put them on overdramatically like Batman, and drag your feet across the floor like they're chained together and you're carrying a weight. 

Alfred will take NO MORE of your crap.

And men, don't pretend you don't do it too. I'm yelling at all y'all here. I'd honestly rather hear your shoes squeak like Spongebob's than drag across the floor sounding like sandpaper. Has humanity really come to the point where we can't lift our feet a few inches off the ground? Sheesh. 

Don't even get me STARTED with walking slow. Your swag must not be working because a family of geese can cross a busy street faster than you can walk across a hallway. 

At least Kristin Wiig makes it look cooler than you do, and she's drugged in this scene.

So let's calm it down and walk like real people, shall we? Thanks.

I will leave you with this... Until next time:

As classic as these specials are, the animations are terrifying.