Whaddup my little... Hm. I feel like I should have a nickname for my audience.
What? It's the cool thing now! Lady Gaga has her "little monsters," most YouTube stars have their audience "pet names"... Why shouldn't I come up with one?
"Maybe because you're an awful person who doesn't care about anyone, Ryan."
Shut your mouth, I'm thinking here. Nobody asked for you opinion.
"But you just did..."
ANYWAY
He's talking to himself again.
I thought it'd be fun to just kind of pick apart annoying things that have been going on recently that have irked me in some way or another, instead of doing one blog entry on one annoyance. I'll do a small list and rant a bit, and next time I'll have a nice hot&steamy blog ready for you guys.
"How long will it be before the next one..."
IS THAT SASS
DO I FEEL SASS COMING FROM YOU
THAT'S MY THING
Next time someone will make a blog similar to this one and the topic will be about me...
I'll feel so honored <3
Annoyances. Interlude #1:
1. Instagram
I may have mentioned Instagram a few times in my previous entries, but lately I've not only been hearing more about it, but I've been asked why I don't hold an account with the site.
The conversations usually sound something like this:
"Hey Ryan do you have an Instagram?"
"No, why?"
"It's so much fun and it's addicting!"
"Oh, what is it?"
"Uh... It's kind of like Twitter... Only with pictures."
First of all, not only is that the least helpful description of anything ever, but it sounds like you're signing up to these websites just because... Well, I don't know, exactly.
You know where I can post pictures? TWITTER.
And FACEBOOK.
And pretty much any damned other social media site EVER. So what's the point?
"There are filters."
Third meme usage in one blog. I'm on a roll.
...
Well call me Oprah! I'm in! YOU get a filter! And YOU get a filter! And YOU get a thousand pictures of randomly selected meal choices!
NO. These kids act like Instagram invented filters for photos. Ahh, look at this softened, lens-flare-covered picture of a bunch of trees in the springtime in sepia-tone. How... Realistic? If I wanted to see a photograph that looked like it'd been sitting on my grandmother's coffee table in direct sunlight for ten years, I'd just- well, I'd just look at any photos my family has taken of my parents' generation before I was born.
MOVING ON
2. Kim Kardashian's Already-Egotistic Fetus
If I see another magazine cover claiming that Kim Kardashian, queen of whining, is fat, I'll probably have to ditch life as I know it and become a hermit in the woods like Jason Voorhees. His biggest annoyance is pesky teenagers (basically ALL teenagers), and I'm totally used to that.
No, but really- Kim Kardashian is pregnant. With a baby. You know, like, she has an unborn child in her womb. Meaning her belly will grow to the size of a watermelon or larger. If the presses don't understand that, they should be searching for life lessons instead of Kim Kardashian's latest outing.
Although this one is pretty funny...
But seriously, that thing is getting more attention than Kanye, and Kanye can only handle things not being about Kanye for so long before he starts to interrupt award ceremonies again.
3. Country music.
Country music isn't BAD, but it's annoying. I don't like it. Yeah, tractors and beer, whatever. Okay.
4. Sappy "inspirational" text-over-background pictures AND/OR "teenager posts"
These are those pictures that make you "hide" posts from a certain page on Facebook, and you end up having to do this to multiple pages to the point where you start to wonder: "I've blocked all pages. Where are these damned things coming from?" And then you realize it's some sort of alien invasion and you're screwed.
Like so:
Wow, that is SO relatable. This is so original that pretty much everyone does this!
and...
They... They what? They should be institutionalized, and you should be receiving surgery.
Oh.
5. Justin Bieber
I know, the Biebs has been annoying since the first time he hit a pan with his mother's wooden spoons before anyone knew anything about him. It was THAT kind of annoying. But no, I fear he's been getting worse. Mr. BigShot thinks he's... He's... Oh God I can't believe I'm saying this... Cool.
Yep, your famed teen pop sensation has literally been doing "sizzurp," (drinking cough syrup which sounds like something only "cool" kids do) spitting on people, and threatening to kill them.
This was when a paparazzi said something involving... cats.
JBiebz didn't like that, y0, because he expects the paparazzi to say things like "swag" and sag their pants like he does. In an online video, the pint-sized songstress struggles to leap from the car and screams at the pressing crowds. It's adorable. His bodyguards look embarrassed, like he's their child who just asked why someone in the line at the bank was extremely obese.
THIS is what teenaged girls go crazy about? This and Amanda Bynes, the so-called "queen" on Twitter?
Apparently she now does children's birthday parties for a decent price. Balloon animals included.
Alrighty, I think that's it for now. Hopefully soon I'll have a full-length blog for y'all, maybe on one of these topics or something else that really grinds my gears. If not, maybe another interlude like this one. Either way, see you soon, and may the odds not annoy you as a good handful of social interactions tend to do for me.
