Some people are really good singers. We have heard the many voices of our time and times before ours gracing our ears with their harmonious gifts. They have good rhythm, are well-tuned, and their confidence boosts both of those factors to make for some awesomely talented people.
Then we have those people who should have their vocal chords removed.
Yes, that includes you, Kim Kardashian. Just keep spending your money on useless crap and leave our ears alone.
Exhibit A: Nate Reuss of Fun. If I have his name right and he is, in fact, the lead singer of Fun., then... please shut your trap. Don't get me wrong, their songs are catchy- when they've had the shit edited out of them and autotuned to the point where it's not even the singer's voice. I've heard them live maybe three or so times (never in person, but still) and I was immediately turned off from the band.
And look at that picture. No one has as much class as Panic! At The Disco, so there's no point in trying, guys. Seriously.
Exhibit B: Any type of music that consists only of people screaming into a microphone. I can handle a few seconds of screams and shouts here and there, but if you can make frog noises into a microphone and get paid for it, I might as well record bowel movements and pass them off for the same thing. You get no picture of video for this example because I don't feel like giving you one.
Lastly but most importantly, and the main topic of this post, Exhibit C: All Y'all.
If I walk into a store and hear some ass whistling some tune no one can recognize (or one we can recognize, which is almost worse), you're showing us how happy and content you are and it pisses the rest of us off.
Seriously- if I walked around talking to myself, you'd think it was weird. What's the difference if I'm singing some Justin Bieber song out of the blue?
The real problem?
No one who sings openly to themselves in public cannot sing.
As for whistling, you're off-tune and have no rhythm. So please refrain from making noise.
Ever.
Unless someone else tells you that you're a good singer or praises you on your amazing whistling talents, you might want to find something else to seek attention with.
I mean really- why are you SINGING aloud right next to me? We're not about to break out into song together and start a musical. We are not a flash mob of vocal talents. You are those people who audition for American Idol and completely embarrass themselves.
Or any of the following people who managed to release their embarrassing selves to the public:
Rebecca Black
Whoever the hell this is.
Anyone either previously or currently on the Disney channel who is NOT a cartoon. Mickey Mouse sang better than you even when his cartoons were silent.
Shut your faces. Please.
Conclusion: Public places like the park, the grocery store, or the retail store you love to go to don't like to hear your cracking voice. Their attention towards you is not of envy or awe, it's of frustration and the want to strangle you. Sing in your bedroom or in your car alone, where no one can hear you.
Happy holidays!!!! Or not- whatever.
